


Hold Me Now

by pajama_cats



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:26:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21693778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pajama_cats/pseuds/pajama_cats
Summary: Gou feels insecure after his fight with Ash.
Relationships: Satoshi | Ash Ketchum/Gou
Comments: 34
Kudos: 412





	Hold Me Now

**Author's Note:**

> Based after episode 3.

Gou hates it. Hates how he can't keep himself composed- to keep his emotions in check yet he could be such an open book. 

At least he could hold up enough until night time, but Arceus he couldn't help the lingering feeling of _loneliness._

It's dumb really, he should be fast asleep yet he keeps replaying the events over today in his head nonstop to the point where he wants to break down. 

How much _fear_ he had when Ash said he didn't want him. That they weren't friends. After he accepted him.. 

But Ash rejected him. Just like everyone else. Koharu kept him around, dealing with his antics to an extent and from time to time tended to mention how he'd never get friends if he kept going on like he usually did. 

And that breaks his heart knowing that no one would want to be with him unless he _changed._

Gou can't help the dry sob he chokes out and is quick to bury his head in his pillow, scared he might wake Ash up.

Koharu was at least his childhood friend, but he had so much bad luck when it came to getting close to people. 

Then there's Ash. Someone he happened to meet on _Lugia_ and didn't flinch or push him away during their hug earlier.

Ash was just.. Such an interesting person. Gou's not sure how many times he's looked at Ash— or anyone in general with such awe. 

Ash was athletic and _brave_ \- he didn't even back down to shield the Bulbasaur and Ivysaur from harm! 

By now he's positive he's crushing on Ash because he can't go ten minutes without blushing around him. And now he had to share a room together. With his crush. Great.

It's odd, but.. Just thinking about Ash is putting him at ease. He really has the urge to hug him, hold his hand or arm— _anything_ just to be near him. Arceus, why was he so fixated on being so close to Ash now? 

That'd be weird though, wouldn't it? Who'd want their new friend to constantly hover over them? 

Maybe that's why he sucked at making any. It was worse with Ash since he had to have a _crush_ on him of all things. 

Tears stung his eyes again and Gou has to muffle his broken whine into his damp pillow. Arceus, he was so weak in so many ways. 

How was he going to find Mew when he was such a mess? 

With his thoughts tormenting him relentlessly Gou fails to acknowledge the shuffling from below his bed and only stills when he hears a groan. 

Gou holds his breath hoping the two would go back to bed and he lies as still as he could. When there's silence again in their dorm Gou lets out a sigh and raises his head—

"Pika?"

Only to yelp out in surprise at Pikachu sitting beside him. The electric pokemon only tilts its head at him and dread fills his entire being at Ash mumbling incoherently, followed by the wood creaking. 

"What're you two doing?" It's kind of hard to make out what Ash said, considering half of it was muffled by his loud yawn, yet Gou isn't really too eager to share why he was up in the middle of the night.

Apparently Gou isn't quick enough to hide his face judging by the concerned expression on Ash's face. He _really_ didn't want to have this talk now. Or ever. 

"What's wrong, Gou?" Ash asks softly. Gou hates how easily he's back to fighting tears and he turns his head away from Ash who decides to sit beside him on the top bunk. 

"Pika, pi?" Pikachu tugs on the sleeve of his shirt, climbing into his lap and he can feel Ash leaning his weight on him. 

"..It's nothing, really." Gou mumbles, wiping his face and refuses to meet Ash's eyes. 

It should make him cautious by how quiet Ash is being, then again it's the middle of the night and he can feel Ash's soft, warm breathing on his neck— 

Ugh, first his heart was breaking now it was beating a mile a minute. 

"If it's nothing let's go back to bed." Ash yawns again. Gou expects him to get up and leave, not push him down on the bed and lay half on top of him. 

Even Pikachu was content there who nestled up near his pillow. Ash must have noticed the wetness of the pillow, but didn't say anything and instead flipped it over before laying his head down with a content sigh. 

The cool side of the pillow was at least nice for his currently burning face.

"Hey, Ash..?" Gou hesitates, unsure if the trainer was already asleep or not.

"Mm?" 

"You like me, don't you?" Oh, that was probably silly to ask, wasn't it? He already regrets it the moment it left his mouth, who would even ask that-

"'Course I do. You're the greatest." Ash mumbles softly, nuzzling his head against Gou who sucks in a shaky breath. It sounded so sincere that he's not quite sure what to do with himself.

His mind was so _blank._ One compliment and he was completely blown away. And Ash was so close to him and Gou can't stop grinning to the point that his face is going to start hurting. 

But he doesn't care about that. Ash has to say so little and do so little, but it's enough to make him feel like all his earlier fretting was _nothing._ That he was more than just a Pokemon researcher to Ash— that they're close and could be comfortable with each other.. 

That's all he ever wanted. 

Now that the internal storm has blown away Gou starts to wonder how long it'll take his heart to stop fluttering and when he'll actually be able to sleep again. 

Time would tell.

**Author's Note:**

> I love these two so much, and Ash seems kinda like the type of person who’d prefer actions over words, you know? Don’t know who hurt Gou, but he has Ash now <3 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
